I Am Gonna Make It!

So... I aced a quiz on Monday. I am finally feeling like I might make it through this semester. I ask everyone to continue praying, because I still have 3 exams. I am only failing by 2% in both classes, so passing it within reach. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have an exam on Monday, so everyone please say a prayer. I know I can do it, because I have a God that is in control.

Moving onto thanksgiving. I cannot wait. There is nothing I love more than being with my family. We sit around and play games. The guys bundle up and play football. It is just the best. I love this time of year. I love hot chocolate, fires, and spending time with my family. Oh yeah,my birthday is December 6th, which is also a plus to this time of year.

Switching gears again. I started selling scentsy. Money has been really tight to say the least. Living off of one income is really hard, especially when I budget for 2 incomes when we got married, so now we are basically just living on nothing. I am thankful for what I have. God has given me so much more than I can ask for, and he gives us everything we need. I have to say though living not so tight would sure  take some stress off of me. It is part of getting married young, and we knew that. We were 100% ready for it, and neither one of us would trade it for the world. Livin' on love... that is what we are doing. So since we have been struggling financially, I decided to try and get a job. I knew I had to have a job that I could do from home. It had to be something that did not interfere with school, and that I could do when I felt good and did not have to do when I was having a bad day. I started to think about things like Mary Kay, Thirty-one, and Scentsy. I realized I do not know a lot of people that sell Scentsy, it is an awesome product, and I would love something like that. So.. I went with it. Now I sell Scentsy. Hopefully it will be something fun for me while bringing in a little extra income. So.. on that note... here is my website if you want to check it out. I am not going to be that annoying sales person, so do not feel like every post I write will have something in it about it because it wont. This is just something new that is happening in my life, and I think it is going to make a big impact in my life (at least i hope it will). So here is the website. 

brittanibarger.scentsy.us

I hope all you blog readers have a great thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for :)

Today Is A Rough One

I pretty much feel like crap today. I think I have a virus or something. I am running a fever. Well, at least I think I am. My thermometer is crap. One minute it says my temp is 106 and then it says it is 92. It doesn't make any sense.

On the other hand, I passed my first exam of the whole semester on Monday. I am only failing by 4% in both my classes now :) I am pretty sure I can pass. It made me feel like maybe I can actually do it. I would be lying if I said I knew I could do it all along. I was upset about it and really felt like my nursing career was over. I know pretty dramatic, but I could not imagine graduating with another class. I love my class. We have become a family, and so I do not want to graduate with another class. I PASSED AN EXAM. I almost cried after I got done grading it. It is crazy to me. Every time I say it, I get all happy and excited. Me and mom were talking about my exams. I think I am having little seizures all the time. There would be pages that I would not miss any questions, and then I would miss 4 in a row. It makes sense, because Dr. Hensley put me on a new medication. It is to help with migraines and seizures. If that new medication is helping with my seizures, it makes sense that I would pass. I can do it now. I know I can. 

Oh yeah, I cut my hair off. I love it. :) Let me know what you think. 

Before.... (That is my goofy smile, not my real one... incase you were wondering)

And after... (:

Well, that is about the end of my story for now :) 

I have a couple quotes for you this time.

Imperfection at its Finest

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday. Not a lot to you all on. They did add a medication to help control my migraines (Thank the Lord)! I am having a migraines multiple times a week. The type of migraines that make you unable to function. It has made school ridiculously difficult. Oh yeah, I am still failing school. It really just makes me feel like a failure. I know that I could do it if it was not for my medical issues, but it still just brings me down. Ya know? It sucks to say the least. I am thankful for the ones that are helping to try and pass. I am not sure what I will do if I fail out of nursing school. it will make me feel awful, like I cannot accomplish anything. Being a nurse is my dream, but who knows if it will happen. I ask everyone to sincerely pray for my schooling. That may sound like silly request, but the only way I am going to pass is with the Lord's help. I know it can still happen, because I have one heck of a God :) 

Back to the doctors appointment. I am going to be referred to a new neurologist. Hopefully the next one will know what he is doing. My doctor says that she does not think brain surgery is in my future :) That is GREAT news. Just trying to get everything under control. I for sure have a seizure disorder that is not a question. I am going to need to change my seizure medication, but I cannot do that until Christmas break. I have a follow up appointment after I get my gallbladder out. Hopefully getting that out will make a heck of a difference. 

I am feeling much more positive about my medical future. I feel like I might actually make it past 50 years old, which is a great accomplishment for my family. School on the other hand... I am just searching for guidance on what to do. I am continuing to give it everything I have, but it really is a let down when you feel like you gave it everything you have and it is not enough. Just say a prayer for me. I need the prayers. Everyday is a struggle right now, either emotionally or physically. I will make it, and I know it. Just trying to stay strong through all of it is difficult.

I Have Been Blessed

Everyone is doing a "thankful" November on facebook. I decided to take it to my blog, so this post is going to be  30 things I am thankful for. I could list on and on... but I will try my best to keep it at 30.

#1. I am thankful for my salvation. When I was a little 8 year old girl, the Lord saved my soul. It is a day that changed my life forever. I am so undeserving of all He has done for me. 

#2. I am thankful for my little church. It is a place that I can not only go to the Lord and worship him, but it contains people that I can trust and lean upon for answers and prayers. With all that I am going through, my family and I have been asking for as many prayers as I can get, and there are times that I will try to pray that the Lord will give me strength. When I get down to pray, I just can't. I get overwhelmed with the feeling of people praying for me. All I can say is I am so thankful the Lord led me to that little church.

#3. I am thankful for my husband. God could not have given me a better man, and I am not just saying that because he is my husband. He truly is an answered prayer. He puts up with a lot of crap and by crap I mean medical issues. Not many men would stick around for a medical mystery. Of course, he wished I would be better, but it is because he hates seeing me feel the way I do. He does everything he can do to support me. He works his butt off, so I can do my best in school and not have to work. He is seriously the best. I do not know what I would do without him.

"I did it for the girl" Yep, we met Greg Bates... pretty cool I know

#4. I am thankful for my mom. I was going to say parents, but I figured they all deserved their own day for different reasons. My mom has always been by my side. Although she may be crazy at times, I could not have chosen a better mother. She always did her best to raise me the "right" way. She pointed me to God, when I could no longer stand on my own. She fought with doctors to find out what was wrong with me. She still fights with me to find out what in the heck is going on in my body. She has learned to step aside and let Daniel take care of me, which had to be difficult for her, but she is still there when I reach out. She is there to support or give me advice with anything I need. She is a great momma, and I do not know what I would do without her.

#5. I am thankful for my dad (Craig). You know the Brad Paisley song "He didn't have to be." Incase you don't here are some of the lyrics.

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old

He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go

A few months later I remember lying there in bed

I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes 

And then all of a sudden

Oh, it seemed so strange to me

How we went from something's missing

To a family 

Lookin' back all I can say

About all the things he did for me

Is I hope I'm at least half the dad

That he didn't have to be 

I do not remember him asking my mom to marry him or having tea parties with me. I do not want to be the dad, but if I could be at least half of the parent that he did not have to be I know I will be a great one. This song has always made me think of him, and how I hope to live up to the example he has set before me.

#6. I am thankful for my dad (Nathan). I know that we have not always had a relationship, but I am thankful for the one we have now. I am thankful that I can be a part of his life and he can be a part of mine.

#7. I am thankful for my step-mom. We have had a rough patch to say the least, but we are moving through it. She was the one that taught me to swim and took me to get my nails done when I was younger. We missed quite a few years, but I am thankful God brought her back into my life to make more memories.

#8. Now to start those siblings. I am thankful for all 4 of them. Brilynn, my one and only little sister. We may not always see eye to eye, but she is my best friend. I know she is always there to talk to. I do not know what I would do without her.

So funny story. My grandma bought Brilynn and I these horrible dresses. We hated them, but we had to put them on. I was way to old for that dress. Embarrassing. 

This is Jess. I am thankful that God put her in my life. She means so much to me. 

#9. Brett/ bubba... he is just too cute. I cannot believe he is getting ready to start driving. It makes me sick. I still want him to be little. He is so strong and is learning to be such a great little man. I love watching him grow into the man he is going to be. I love him to death.

This picture is from Southside MBC's christmas thing. I cannot even remember what it is called. Sorry, it is the broken brain.

#10. Noah... This little man, I love him so much. I missed entirely too much of his life, but luckily I get to be a part of the rest of it. I cannot wait to watch him grow.

#11. Niles. Well he is just a little man. He is starting to warm up to me. I am so glad I am going to get to be a part of his life. I want to be there every step of the way.

I love all my siblings so much, and I am so thankful God chose me to be their big sis. I hope I can be a great example to them. There is nothing more I want then for them to succeed and follow the Lord, and I hope and pray I can lead by example.

#12. I am thankful for my cousins. I have the best cousins ever. I have such a close family, and I feel like they will be there for me no matter what. I love all of them for different reasons. They are all unique and have had their own impact on my life, but they are a big part of who I am.

Best photo bomb ever just sayin! This is Chelsi :)

Kipton and Clayton

Bricen and Chloe

Kyla

Shelby and Shayla

Liza

Bricen

Jesse, Buddy, Kyla, Chloe, and Emily... Noah and Niles too, but they are brothers.

Levi, Liza, and Lily

Tiff, Dereck, and Lyla

 I have a lot of cousins, so I am sorry to those I do not have a picture of. Love you all :)

#13. I am thankful for my grandparents. I was blessed with some "off the charts" grandparents to say the least. 

Grandma Holland

Papaw and Teresa

Grandpa and Grandma Dulworth

My wonderful Mamaw Thompson

And the one and only Papaw Dennis.

#14. I am thankful for my aunts and uncles. They all are so supportive and awesome. I do not know what I would do without them.

Nin and Marty. I love you guys so much. I am so thankful to have you to look up to.

Aunt Alicia and Uncle Todd

Aunt Karen.. the definition of a Godly women. She is such an example to me on how to live my life for God. I am so thankful to have her in my life and I love her so much.

Uncle Randy and Becky.

Nin and Aaron. Thankful for them too. Love them so much. 

Nona and Sam. I told you I was blessed with great aunts and Uncles.

Not pictured Uncle Kelly. He recently has become a huge part of my life. I am so thankful for him and so glad I get to be around him more. I love him so much.

Not pictured aunt Tammy and uncle Joe. Love you guys too :)

I do not think I missed any other aunt and uncles, but if I did.... sorry.

#15. I am thankful for Daniel's family. They have taken me in and made me feel like family. They are so supportive of Daniel and I, and I am thankful that God gave me such a great, big, and loving family.

Not pictured... Bridget's family. I could not find a picture of all of them. I know I have one some where, but it already took me a week to finish this... so I kind of ran out of time.

#16. I am thankful for nurses and doctors. I have always had such a respect for nurses and doctors with my medical history, but as I have gotten older and been in contact with more nurses and doctors, I have gained more appreciation for those in the medical field.

#17. I am thankful for my nursing instructors. They are being so supportive with everything that is going on. They are trying to help me out in anyway that they can.

#18. I am thankful for God's plan and His timing.

#19. I am thankful for my nursing friends. They are always there to help me study or to meet for lunch after clinicals. They help keep me sane. I do not know what I would do without them. God's timing played a huge role in this one. I was a semester late getting into the nursing program. At first, I was really upset that I did not get in the first time I applied, but now I am so thankful for God's timing.

#20. I am thankful for Lish. This girl has been my friend for as long as I can remember. We have grown even closer the older we get. She will never understand how much I love and appreciate her. She is such a blessing. We seem to lean on each other a lot. I am so thankful God brought her back into my life just when I needed her. I could not have found a better person to stand by my side on my wedding day and the rest of my life. I know she will be there for me no matter what is going on in my life. I love her so much. I am thankful for the 2nd sister God placed in my life.

My sisters :) Love them to pieces. Sorry Brilynn.. I put the pictures of all 3 of us under Lish.

Trying on Bridesmaids dresses

Photo bomb

#21. I am thankful for a roof over my head and food on my table. It may be a little one bedroom apartment, but it a place to live.

#22. I am thankful Josh and Cheyenne. They are great friends that would do anything for us. We have had a lot of fun together. God has placed great friends in my life.

This is so funny... so we were going to go sledding. We all got bundled up and went to leave. When we went outside, Cheyenne was like maybe I should have put more socks on my feet are freezing. We all look down and she had forgot to put her shoes on. It was so funny. Sometimes I think she was supposed to be a blonde.

#23. I am thankful for my health. I am a long way from healthy, but it could be worse.

#24. I am thankful that the Lord only gives you as much as you can handle. Sometimes I feel like this is not true, but then he lifts just a little bit off and gives me the strength to push forward.

#25. I am thankful for my "good days." Lately, they are few and far between, but I still have them. I could not have any "good" days, so I am thankful that I do.

#26. I am thankful for my friends from highschool. I might not be able to hang out with them very often, but I know that they would be there in a heart beat in a minute.

Just a few... don't be mad if I did not put a picture up of you... that doesn't mean I do not love you... it just means that it took me A WHOLE WEEK to write this post.

#27. I am thankful for my blog. That may seem so silly, but it is a form of therapy for me. I do not get to write on it much, because I am focused on passing school since I am struggling so much. When I do get to write on it, I can get out how I am feeling and who is a big part of my life. It helps me cope with what is going on in my life.

#28. I am thankful for medication and the people that make them. Without my medication I would not be able to somewhat function as a "normal" person.

#29. I am thankful for the little things people do to lift you up. Anything. Just a small text message or message on facebook. It can change my day from bad to good pretty quickly.

#30. I am thankful for prayer. That I can go to Him anytime, and he hears me. It doesn't matter what it is about. He seems to always help. i seem to be praying for guidance lately. I am struggling in school so bad that I am trying to figure out plan B. I just want to be in His will. I want to do what he wants me to do no matter how difficult it is for me.

And there is my I am thankful list. I am sorry for not being able to post sooner.