It's Been Awhile

Okay. I guess I could say the last couple weeks. I have been pretty sick. I am ready to find out what in the heck is going on, so I can get back on my feet literally. I feel like my bed or the couch has been my best friend. I have been sleeping more than I have been awake. I guess a good way to look at it is that I am one day closer to finding out how to get better and back to myself.

I have been hanging out with Brilynn, Brett and Dillan a lot lately. We actually have a gospel group together. We love it. It is fun. Even Bub (Brett) has been singing with us. We only have about 4 songs right now, but we are hoping to get some more together. 

Brilynn has been coming over a lot. I feel like in the last 2 weeks we have gotten closer than we ever were before. It has been nice. She is more than my sister now; She is my best friend. I cannot even describe how thankful I am for the friends God has placed in my life. He has given me more true and life long friends than I ever had before. They are all here for me, and they sure like to send me mushy text messages. Which I dislike very strongly. :)

"Ogres are like onions"--> Shrek (Only the best movie of all time)

Lately, I have been very emotional, and I guess you can say I have been mad at God. My lack of understanding has made me very angry. I was talking to one of my aunts, and she made me understand that God knows that I still love him. He is my father, and just like I get angry at my earthly parents, I get mad at my heavenly father too. Being angry does not mean I do not love them. It just means that I am angry. Just like my momma always said, " You will understand it when you are a parent." I feel like God is saying, "You will understand it, when it is over." This is just a speed bump in my life, even though it feels like a mountain. God can move mountains, you know? He can move mine. Sometimes I do not feel like he ever will, but I know he is going to give me strength to get through it.

This is what I believe to be the reason for my illness and struggles. I believe God wants people to see me and see my strength and to show them that my strength is from Him and only Him. I would give up if it wasn't for the strength God has given me. I get told that I am stronger than anyone thinks they can be. Little do they know that I am very weak, so weak, but with God's strength I can make it through anything.